Friday, August 23, 2013

Trader Why Not?

I love everything about Trader Joe's. The prices are great, the selection can't be beat, the employees are always friendly and helpful, and now that Oldies 103.3 is as much a ghost as Marley and Marley, Trader Joe's is the only place that actually plays oldies.

That said, walking into Trader Joe’s always gives me a little bit of anxiety. Of course, I tend to only get there at 3pm on a Sunday, which every Trader Joe’s customer knows is the prime time for a massive crowd and reduced inventory.

But that’s not what gets to me.

It’s the process of picking replacements for those out of stock items that is so anxiety inducing.

“They’re out of English muffins!” I’ll say. “Okay, I’ll get crumpets instead.” And then when I get home: “What am I going to do with these crumpets?!”

They seemed like such a fitting replacement in the store, but now that they are in my refrigerator, they seem out of place. I’ve never had crumpets in my refrigerator. Should I have even put them there? Shouldn't they be in a bread box instead? Like, in a pantry somewhere?

Okay, I’ll read the label. A crumpet is a cross between a pancake and an English muffin. It’s basically a pancake that has risen to muffin height (psssst, overachiever, quit making pancakes look bad). At least I know I’ve had pancakes and English muffins before.

So it’s definitely a breakfast pastry, which is good because I bought it to replace my toasted English muffins with peanut butter.

Hold on -- can I even toast this thing? No one toasts a pancake. No one puts peanut butter on pancakes, either (at least not anyone I've met). And these are half pancake. Maybe the muffin is the dominant half? 

I am in over my head. But it fits in the toaster, which means I am just going with it.

Now the question of toppings... peanut butter doesn't seem sufficiently British, but honey sounds right proper.

Whoah, hold the phone. These are AMAZING! Suddenly, I don’t have a care in the world -- I have discovered crumpets.

And this is what happens when I go to Trader Joe’s. It’s probably why I keep going back. Also, the low prices. 

Til next time!